Avoiding Teen Trauma During a Divorce

Child Specialist Divorce

Chicago, Illinois Divorce  – Anyone who lives with teenagers knows that as moody and disorganized as they can be, they are also capable of moments of astonishing maturity. Paradoxical though it sounds, this can put them at a particular risk of damage in a family experiencing a divorce.

A Child Specialist from Illinois is often a part of the Collaborative Divorce team to ensure that your children are given a clear and defined “voice” throughout the process the process. Divorce is a time when even the most selfless parent is likely to feel needy and vulnerable, and a teenager can seem temptingly understanding and sympathetic. You may think you’re keeping your criticisms of your child’s other parent to yourself, but they may still feel pressure to respond to your hurt and anger. The Child Specialist is there to help your child navigate this difficult process.

Your teen may also feel the need to put on a game face and to insist that everything is fine. They may act indifferent or put themselves under intense pressure to be independent and perfect so as not to further burden mom and dad. And they can be very, very angry—which can be surprisingly tough to handle at a moment when your former spouse is likely to be angry, too.

Underneath all of these masks, however, often lurks self-doubt. Teens are, by definition, engaged in the process of figuring out their identities and values—a process divorce only complicates. Sorting out their own individual values, their sense of their strengths and weaknesses and their relationships to others is hard enough.

Collaborative divorce can be helpful to families living in Chicago with teens on several levels. First, when parents are able to work together, it sends a strong signal that loyalties are neither expected nor to be tested. Second, because teens do best when they are given maximum flexibility to decide how they will fit into their new, separate households, it’s important for their divorcing parents to be flexible.

Just as important, collaborative divorce takes into account the emotional turmoil the end of any marriage causes for the separating spouses. This adult support makes it less likely that the parents’ anxiety, hurt and loneliness will negatively impact the children. A parent who isn’t going it alone will be better equipped to see past teen bravado to offer love and reassurance.

For more information on the Collaborative divorce process or if you have any questions about how divorce works in Illinois or Chicago please contact the Law Offices of Patrick Markey at (312) 223-1763.