There are differing views on whether a couple who want to get a divorce should wait until their children are grown and have moved out of the house before they actually file for divorce and moving apart. There are pros and cons to both opinions.
Pros of Waiting Until the Kids are Grown to Divorce
If you wait until the kids are grown, you will avoid the need to decide on certain issues like:
- Child custody and which parent will be the primary parent.
- Which parent will spend which holidays with children?
- Which parent will pay child support?
- How will the children be transported from one home to the other?
There are also pros to having a longer marriage before divorcing. There are benefits that those who have been married 10 years have over those who end their marriage before that 10-year landmark such as Social Security benefits when they reach retirement age.
There are benefits for those who have been married for 20 years that are not available for those married for 15 years. The longer the marriage, the more marital assets have likely been accumulated. Also, a longer marriage is treated differently when it comes to spousal support.
Cons of Waiting Until the Children Are Grown
If you and your spouse are miserable every single day and find living together intolerable, it may be healthier for you and your children for you to go ahead with the divorce. It is not good for children to grow up in a hostile environment.
If there are issues of domestic violence or child abuse, you need to move apart as soon as possible.
When to divorce, once you are sure this is the path you want to take, is a very personal decision. No one can make it for you.
In general, those who have decided to divorce, and wait are usually sorry they waited. Very few, if any, say it worked out well for them to wait. They regret not starting the divorce back when they originally decided.
If you are thinking of getting a divorce but on the fence about whether the timing is right or whether you should wait until the children are grown, seek out the legal advice of an attorney experienced in divorce. Contact The Law Offices of Patrick Markey, P.C. for a consultation. We are compassionate and committed to providing you with the personal attention you deserve.