How To Have a Positive Co-Parenting Experience For Your Kids


Co-parenting is an important part of how you handle your divorce and more importantly how you will handle your post-divorce life. A good working co-parenting relationship is crucial for the well-being of your children. The starting point for co-parenting is to focus on effective communication, prioritizing the children’s needs, and maintaining a cooperative attitude.

Importance of Communication

Poor communication is often a significant factor leading to divorce. Continuing this pattern post-divorce will only exacerbate conflicts. To mitigate this, you and your ex-spouse must commit to clear, constructive communication. This means sharing information about your children’s schedules, health, and education promptly and respectfully. Utilizing communication tools like Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents can help facilitate this exchange of information and assure that you are both consistently informed and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings.

We recommend thinking of co-parenting communication as a professional interaction. Just as you would update a colleague or a boss about important work-related information, you should do the same with your co-parent. Even if the personal relationship is strained, maintaining professionalism in your communication can help create a more stable environment for your children.

Putting the Children First

Successful co-parents prioritize the children’s needs over personal grievances. Conflicts between parents can trickle down to the children, creating an environment of stress and anxiety. When you focus on the children and keep communication child-centered, you can shield your children from unnecessary tension.

When you disagree, you should avoid putting your children in the middle of the conflict. Consistent messaging from you both about plans and decisions can prevent confusion and reduce your children’s anxiety. For example, if one parent promises a weekend activity and the other has different plans, this inconsistency can be stressful for the children. Instead, you should strive to present a united front, even if you disagree behind the scenes.

Building a Cooperative Relationship

Viewing your co-parenting relationship as a collaborative effort, much like in a work partnership, can help foster a more cooperative atmosphere. Even if your personal feelings are strained, cooperation is key. This means respecting each other’s parenting styles, being flexible with schedules, and showing appreciation for your co-parent’s efforts.

Proactive communication about important events, school updates, and medical information helps keep everyone informed and reduces the chances of conflict. When you both feel well-informed, you or your ex will be less likely to feel anxious or frustrated, which in turn reduces the overall conflict.

Benefits for the Children

Children thrive in a stable, conflict-free environment. When you effectively communicate and collaborate, your children feel more secure and less anxious about the future. They don’t have to worry about being caught in the middle of parental disputes or feel torn between two conflicting messages. Instead, they can focus on being happy and healthy kids.

Positive co-parenting will not only benefit your children in the short term, but it also sets a healthy example for them about how to handle relationships and conflicts. It teaches them the importance of communication, cooperation, and prioritizing the well-being of loved ones.

While co-parenting can be challenging, focusing on clear communication, focusing on your children’s needs, and maintaining a cooperative attitude can lead to a more positive experience for everyone involved. When you approach co-parenting with the mindset of a professional partnership, you can reduce conflict and create a more stable  environment for your children.

For more information you can visit this previous article that was posted earlier.

For More information on Child custody click here.

For More information on Collaborative Divorce click here.

The Law Offices of Patrick Markey, P.C., are dedicated to the Collaborative Divorce Process.  Our offices are located at 108 Stetson Avenue, Suite 3500 in Chicago, Illinois.  You may call us at 312-223-1763.